Renfri Character Lore Dump

N

Nova

Member
This mainly is for myself to write things Renfri does in the background or get thoughts and feelings out that she would be experiencing. Everything here is cannon.

Themes range from goofy and silly to dark and depressing, so read at your own risk. OOC feedback and comments are allowed.
 
-+-+-+-+-+ Part I : An Offering -+-+-+-+-+-

The teen returns from Town Hall after seeing her mother. She had requested official adoption papers, ready to mentally submit to having an official parental figure to have authority over her. To date she had only listened to Pen on her own will, there was no legal force that put Penelope in charge of her and part of her deeply wanted that changed. She loved her mom to the point where she was ready to let go of a large part of Independence, to be under her care and protection.

Walking into the inn she looks around and grabs a rag and starts cleaning tables and dishes. She worked here, she got paid to work here but now it also felt just common to help out. This hotel was home, sure it wasn't an actual home and she had limited space but it was home to her. As she cleans she opens the ale Pen gave her and drinks. The teen maybe drank once a month, this wasn't her vice.. Something else was.

"Done."
She muttered, everything was clean and she put the stools on the counter as it was close to midnight. She sighed, she had felt lonely and depressed lately as she hasn't made many friends in town who came to see her. She grabbed her dagger and some water for protection and left the hotel.

She casually would walk the path out to where the caravan use to be and she went past that to an empty barn. This area spoke to her, she knew it meant something. She entered the empty barn and looked around.

"Here?" *She said out loud as if to speaking to someone, yet no one was there.

*She stood in the middle of the barn, dirt below her. She took out her dagger and slit her palm letting blood spill

"In honor of Mundus the Creator and Navi the goddess of death I give you this sacrifice as a sign of recognition. May my blood symbolize creation and death, and may you open my lips so my mouth can tell the messages I see. As my blood flows, may this land be blessed by the gods, accept my tribute"

she would wrap her palm to stop the bleeding. She knew she needed this building.. She knew she was a seer and had to deliver the message to those who wish to hear
Their fortune.



================
-+-+-+-+-+-+ Part II : The Confession -+-+-+-+-+-+

Her and her mom talked at the bank. Renfri had confessed to starting a bar fight, mainly because of the sheer number of people who saw it and would probably rat her out anyway. She anticipated being yelled at or punished but today was different, she saw worry. Her mom told her they need to work on her anger.. But she didn't see the issue. In her mind she was ok. She hadn't used alcohol or drugs in over a week, she was sober, her natural self and she was actually a lot more on edge and triggered without drugs in her system. When she takes dream draught it stays with her, keeps her calmer. Without anything she was just herself, causing fights, egging homes, spying.. Causing issues

She hugged her mom and walked off. She wasn't ready for bed, she had energy tonight. It was around 9pm. She walked to the beach, by the cherry tree and looked at the water. It was peaceful and reminded her of the gods. She climbed the tree and watched the moonlight reflect on the sea

"I'm.. Ok. I have to be" she started to talk to whatever was out there in the waters domain.

"But even if I'm not.. What can be done? If I admit to them I'm not ok.. Then what? If I share what's happening to me, will anything change? It's easy to say I don't know who I am.. It's harder to tell them all I feel like I'm drowning as I discover what I am.

It's hard to tell them all I need help. Because what help is there?"

she sighed and continued to look at the sea and the moonlight

"Do they really care or is it a false hope? Mom, both of them, have no reason to love and want me. I'm just some shit kid who appeared in their life. What guarantee do I have that their love for me is real? That they won't cast me aside when something else happens to occupy their time?

And what of Cade? What of Verum, what of everyone else? Why should they care about me? Do they? Why can't I see it?

It's not them.. It's my inability to see why I'm worth anything. I feel like the orphan who washed up on this beach months ago. I don't feel any different. Maybe I'm trying to do too much alone. Maybe I should tell them I'm in a chokehold.. But I don't know if they would listen.

I hide the simplest things from people, I hide I'm a changeling. I masquerade as an elf who doesn't know elven and I'm even taking this lie further by learning elven. I just want to feel love. I want to feel compassion. I want to feel like I can be who I want to grow into. But.. I feel lost.

And that is my confession, Mare."


she would spend a few more hours just at the beach. Around midnight she heads home.


========
+-+-+-+-+-+-+- Part III : I'm dying +-+-+-+-+-+-

Her eyes met her own blood at the alter. She had gotten use to blood rituals and tributes but today she admitted weakness to the gods. She wanted help and Mare and Navi were the only ones she knew would listen. She was desperate for a life line. She didn't know the edge she was on but she felt being pushed closer. She wrapped her hand and left the church.

Her mask went back on. Or was it? She wasn't faking anything at the point, her anger was her anger. Her outbursts were her. Her mind racing sober at full speed was her. She saw a guard eye her

"Fuck off" *she told them. Inside the church she was humbled before the gods but outside she felt godless.*


-She considered going home but went to the barn outside of town. She had already started to remodel it, having permission from the government. She had a wall and door added already. Candles filled the room and she set up an alchemy station and flooded the room with some plants. She wanted to be a herbalist. An apothecary like no other, she had visions, could do divination and loved nature. To her the medics and apothecaries were just there to pretend they did something. She wanted to do something.

Her first experiment would be poison. But not that kind. She wanted to make a tea that would make people vomit and hear voices. She knew how to get these results 1 by 1 and now was working slowly on her brew.

As her properties mix and settle she heads up the steps. She had made a bed for herself. This place.. Was her safe haven. A place for her to be alone. Completely alone.

"I'm dying" She says out loud

"The doctors are missing it but I know I am dying. Something in me is killing me. I feel it. Slowly."

-she breaths slowly. This was the first time she admitted this.. And it was to no one.. Are least the gods were listening. The teen who was causing bar fights, shouting at guards, the teen who couldn't focus was.. Vulnerable in this moment. Vulnerable to herself.
 
=======

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ Part IV: Seizures -+-+-+-+-+--



Her mom had visited her new business briefly. It was the first time Renfri got to actually show her mom she was interested in herbalism. The building was covered in plants, some innocent and some.. Well some could kill someone if ingested. Renfri was alone in her business right now. Drawings of plants laid out on the counters. Cauldrons smoked and bottles filled with this and that mixed and set. The teen found a hobby.



She looked at a skull she had on a shelf, it was of a fox. She was studying anatomy of animals and creatures as well as plants. She knew she was dying, she knew she would be no warrior but wanted to leave something behind. She dedicated her life to the gods and her studies to exploring the unknown.



As she worked on her studies, she made sure the door was locked and the windows were covered. The recent Bojati attacks on the city had her on edge. But she continued to live on. She was shoeless today, white socks, black pants, sleeveless shirt. Her business was a sanctuary in a way for her. It was a place for her to tell people fortunes, for her to learn alchemy and a place for her to be alone. She watered some plants and set down the canister of water.



She felt.. Off. She stared at the wall suddenly. Everything in her mind going blank. She began to zone out. Her body falls to the floor and she begins to shake. Renfri was having a seizure. There was no one near to see this. No one near to help her. She had this first episode alone. On the floor. She soiled herself involuntarily as she shook. After a few minutes it ended. She woke up confused.. And wanting her mom.



=====


+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+- Part V: Denial -+-+-+-+-+-+-



She sat in her room. Verena, Verum and some others were down stairs. She played the violin for a little and started to cry again. She had just seen Hedge and Isandro and now felt empty. Her goal is joining the Scouts now was gone. She threw it away because Isandro wanted her to live.. He didn't want her in danger. He was the dad figure she didn't recognize she needed so when he told her not to go to the sanctuary yet.. It was the first time someone expressed they cared if she died.



She was crying because.. She knew she was dying. She was Hedge, she had told her Mom and Isandro she is dying and now it started to really hit her. She didn't know why she was dying, she just felt sick. Very sick. And as of now there was no cure.



she took the herbs Hedge told her to take. She was going to listen and try to get better. She for the first time in 3 months felt really scared and helpless. She felt her age. Everyone had been treating her like an adult. Talking to her like an adult. Holding her to standards she couldn't live up to.. And now she was breaking. She wanted a lifeline. Penelope told her she had to tell her what she needed, but she wished her mom just knew. She needed care and comfort and needed someone to step in and help her if she wouldn't help herself. She need authority, care and compassion.



She finished the medicine and laid on her bed. Her shoes were off and she grabbed a blanket. It was mid afternoon and the teen who normally had a lot of energy.. Was

Broken.


=====


+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+- A Poem +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Trapped within the walls where sanity cannot shine
A fleeting memory so unkind
Beaten, tormented broken and blind
I stand as one, a ghost of time

My walls collasping all around
As I head face first into the ground
The demons of my mind exercise
While the light of sanity cannot shine

Ghosts of time
Ghosts that I see
Haunting my dreams
Blinding me, what's to believe?
The sunset cries, nightfalls demise

War of sanity, my violence returns
Immortial warrior escapes from within
Blinded by the sanity it knocks at the door
Locked away
Infinite hatred for help at the door
 
-+-+-+-- Part VI: I'm not ok as the everblack takes me-+-+-+-+-+-


"Go on. Stab me. Fucking do it. Lay me out for all to see" she told a guard in the city center, essentially mocking them. She wasn't suicidal she just didn't see the value in living anymore.

She walked away as the guard stood down. She wasn't very threatening just really immature for almost being 16. She was mentally ill, physically sick and dying. This combination made her chaotic.

Renfri walked across the bridge and past the gates to her business. She took out her key and unlocked the door quickly shutting it as she got inside and locking it. She looked at the state of things, everything was spotless and in place.

Approaching the fire place she added some logs and paper. Reaching for a Flint and steel she lit the flames and the cold building heats up, she was staying the night.

She would go to the counter and reach for a jar of fine powder. It was animal bones grounded up. She took a handful and tossed it on the fire, and it made the flames rise. She lit some candles. Next she a lot her palm and let some blood get into the fire.

"Spirits. Gods. Forces unknown. Hear me. I feel the torment you're giving me. The mental pain. The physical. The death consuming me. Im ready to make a deal."

"Come to me and let's make a contract."




The room felt heavy. She knew she was contacting something even if nothing responded. It was at this point, this one moment she no longer questioned being an oracle. She felt the gods and spirits with her right now. She just.. Didn't know how to get a response. She didn't know how to manifest what she wanted. She looked into the flames and saw her first real vision..

In the flames she sees suffering. Not of herself but of everyone. She sees the fruits of the world rot. She feels the air turn stagnant. A never ending darkness.

"Nothing will be left but faded words. The soil will turn black. All good will disappear. The gods will leave us. Chaos will become normal."

She speaks the vision out loud.

"The world will catch fire and then.."

She tired to focus more but the vision stopped and the stiffness that filled the room left. Whatever was with her was now gone for now.

Was it a prophecy for all.. Or an answer to her cries?
 
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-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ Part VII: Your eyes are the Moon -+

She had come back to the hotel from the sewers and an entire day of fun. It was the first day of fun she has had in a while and she spent it with a bottle she just met, Eli. Renfri showed Eli where the wash room in the hotel was and she headed to her room. She kicks off her muddy boots and lights candles walking to her bath slowly filling it with hot water.

As she went to remove her dagger she looked at her hand and remembered the brief moment she held Eli's hand and she felt.. Different. Happy. She got out of the sewer outfit and into the bath. Bubbles were added and scented candles burned.

She lowered herself into the tub and reflected

"He said he would give a limb to cure me.. I.."
She paused. It just now hit her what that meant and she felt confused.

"Im not worth that. But.. Why do his words touch me then? If his.. If his words are stupid and noble why do they mean so much to me?"

The teen was.. Happy and confused.
 
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-+-+-+-+-+-+- Part VIII: The Gods Watch -+-+-+-+-

"We are all brothers. We all come from the same gods" she recited as she healed her heavily bruised face. Another fight. Another win. She was a shit fighter but kept finding ways to beat people at her skill level, this time it was Eli.

"Except my gods like me more" she added looking in the mirror covering her bruises with make up so her mom wouldn't see. Pen hated her fighting but she couldn't stop herself.

She had mastered the art of makeup she just didn't always wear it. She had no issues showing off her bruising except to her mom. She needed help, mentally. She needed someone to forcefully mentor her and be patient and kind. She just didn't know who to ask.

She finished covering her bruises and lit some candles. She got to her knees and prayed

"Mare, holy mother who gives us life hear my words. Open my lips so my mouth can declare your glory and bless me with the strength to destroy those who haze me. Raise your right hand and count me among thy faithful for you are the goddess of the seas, the creator of life of which sustains us. Hear my prayers and give me the strength to live another day."

She rose and got up. Renfri only answered to the gods in her mind. The church and government were largely unhelpful to her so she grew disdainful to them both. The kid was on her own for now faith wise.

Renfri headed down the hotel stairs and felt stress, she felt light headed. She was going to work, again, she has not rested in months. Despite broken bones, bruises and dying she kept going and it was taking a toll.

Going behind the counter she lit the hearth and watched the fire..

"Trial by fire.. To appease the gods"

She had an idea.. She wanted the gods to notice her and was planning on a big tribute..
 
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